Category: #anorexia #recovery #home

Leaving Walden “The Fork” part 2

I awoke at like 11 pm at night, much out of sorts.  I vaguely remembered the limo, Carole, Boston, and my PARENTS!  Oh my gosh, what were my parents thinking?  What did they know….Carole was awful in these situations and liked to cause my mom unnecessary grief.  I sat up in bed, look over, there was no Stephanie. That was weird because she wasn’t one to stay up late at night.

I walked down the hallways, towards the kitchen where the light was on. There was Stephanie in her robe cooking pancakes at this hour.  “What are you doing?” I asked as I came over and gave her a squeeze.  “Making you your favorite blueberry pancakes.” “Now?”  “It is 11 pm”  “Corey you have been asleep since 1 pm, and I was going to wake you to eat if you didn’t wake up.”  “Wake a sleeping bear?” “Right you are such a bear.” I went and get out the plates, napkins and silverware, but the table was all set.  Stephanie and I played such a great game at house together it seemed unlikely that, that wouldn’t be the case if we got together.  “Is there anything I can do to help?” “How about calling your mother……?”  “Oh really?”  “Does she know about Carole and the champagne and the trip to the Four Seasons?” “Yes and she is not mad, she said it has been a long time since Corey pulled a Corey and it was really nice to see.” Stephanie

continued, “She does want to hear from you no matter what time it is, and she made me promise not to let you put her off until tomorrow.”

I called my mom, sort of nervously, but what was she going to say, maybe she didn’t know all about Carole? “Good evening!” I signed and took a deep a breath, “Hi Mom I just woke up, and Stephanie made me call you, why it is so late at night?”  “I am doing fine I just woke up, and Stephanie is making me pancakes as we speak. Thank you for the limo, I had a good time! I picked up Carole and we went to the Four Seasons.” “Did the driver tell your dad you drank champagne at 9 am?” “I am going to report that driver for having a big indiscreet mouth.”  “Corey, he was telling your dad about  the fun you seemed to have had, we couldn’t be anymore happier for you.” “Well Mom I need to go eat my pancakes they are ready. I will call you tomorrow.” “Oh Corey, didn’t Stephanie tell you, we are picking up you both to go to the grocery store at 10 am?”  “No she hadn’t told me that quite yet. I love you both and I will see you tomorrow morning.”

I looked at Stephanie like I was trying to be mad.  She was supposed to be my Forte Knox and keep my parents at bay.   “So my parents are coming tomorrow morning?” “Corey your mother was not taking no for an answer.” I ate a bite of pancake, it tasted so good, I believe I inhaled all two pancakes without even taking a breath.  “Those were delish, thank you very much!” “You are welcome Corey, I am sorry about your parents.” No,” I said, “I know how mom can be, I am really grateful your here and staying with me.  I know I don’t say a lot about my feelings, but it is always better when you are here with me.” I got up and started to clear the table off. Stephanie got up to help, and I motioned for her to sit.  You cook I clean, that is the deal….right? Yes but it is so late why don’t we rinse the plates off and stack them up, I think there is a clean load of dishes already in the washer.”  “Fine with me.” I was starting to feel the ill effects of the pancakes on my body. I never ate that much food, and it has been a while since I ate food like that.  “I am going to go lay down, my stomach is bothering me, I am sorry.” Stephanie looked at me with her gorgeous eyes, “No need to apologize, do you want an instant heating pack?” “Oh yes please, can you bring like two?”

I went into  the guest room, since that is where everything was, and laid on my side it was an uncomfortable time.  My body hurt, and my mind was heading south. How could I have just eaten those two pancakes? I felt fat and bloated, crawling out of my skin.  I couldn’t get my body comfortable and my mind was in the trash can. I thought about tomorrow and shopping with everyone. I just felt sicker the more that I thought, the idea of Radical Will was haunting me alive. What a brilliant idea, to come up with two weeks.  It could be down and I would do it, it was just going to be shear hell.  I realized I hadn’t spoken to Stephanie in awhile. She was flipping through the Economist one of my parents splurges on me.  “Stephanie I am sorry for going off in my zone. It is nothing personal I hope I can get to the point where I can share it with you.” “Corey Britton, you are so darn sweet.  Even when you don’t feel good, you make others feel special. I really appreciate that.”

“Why don’t you go get ready for bed first? I know your tired and you look like you are fading.” I got up and touched her shoulder, it was the most I could do, I was paralyzed from hugging and being demonstrative with her for some reason. I headed into the bathroom, and wished I could purge.  Not a chance of that happening unfortunately for me.  I got into my pjs and brushed my teeth, washed my face, and hands, I put lotion all over my face, something had to take away these lines on my face.

I went into the bedroom, and Stephanie had gotten ready for bed earlier on. She went into the bathroom, and I thought about the upcoming days and weeks.  I really had no idea how I was going to make it.  I had to do it, or all hope would be lost, and I would be a lifer in and out of Walden.  Stephanie entered the room, and I asked her if I could shut off the lights.   “Sure are going to come snuggle with me?” “Yes if that is alright, I would like to snuggle you.” “Come on over and get cozy and comfy.” I couldn’t think of anything else except this Radical Will. “Good night Stephanie, thank you for all you did. Can I tell you something?” “Of course you can tell me.” “I don’t want to talk about it, but I am really scared.”

-Corey

BORN THIS WAY-2016

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